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Well, pressing on then, we’ll stay a bit deviant and take a look at an anti-sex-blog (“this is not a sex blog”) sex blog, Barbed Wire Boudoir.  This site offers some things to think about, and in its own way still fits the model of a girlfriend’s diary.  See, on this site, Luka lampoons the sex blogosphere and its conventions.  Now, in general, every part of any society needs a wag or collection of wags to keep it grounded.  It’s never good to take ourselves too seriously.  My real life profession is the subject of a whole genre of jokes, and rightfully so.  But back to the sex…

Luka is a self-appointed pricker of pomposity and hypocrisy in the sex blog world.  I had a little more time than usual, so I read through every post.  Many were very clever, some were mean, some were serious, and some were, well, odd (the mystery bruise?).  When Luka is on target, she is quite effective at knocking down pretension with wit and humor.  The problem is that while making fun of things is easy to do (and let’s face it, sex blogs are extremely ripe for parody) it is hard to control.  Knocking others off their high horse is one thing; doing it without sanctimony…now that can be a trick.  To be fair, Luka is not unaware of this risk, but that doesn’t keep her from falling into the trap every now and then.

Some examples illustrate these aspects of Luka’s approach: 

There are many good posts.  My favorite was a sex toy review of…the Brain. The Sugasm and HNT parodies were very funny, but Luka went on way too long with them.  Frankly, they are such easy targets that one or two pokes would have been enough to make her point.  Of course, Luka eventually starts participating in HNT.  She claims she does it for a laugh (and the stat boost).  I think it more likely she does it to show she is not a frumpy old rat bag (“Hmm, if I’m sexy, then I have more credibility when I de-glamorize sex!)  She does this with writing too: Moonlit is a nice piece of erotica with a Luka-esque twist at the end, accompanied by Proper Filth, a short assertion that she can write it, but not without making fun of it (“Hmm, if I can show I can write it too, then people won’t think I have erotica-envy…”).  Luka’s ultimate credibility builder, though, is self parody.  There is a great triptych of posts consisting of Top Tips to female sex bloggers, male sex bloggers and satirical sex bloggers. (These kinds of posts really annoy reviewers because they pre-empt anything clever we might think of to say…)   If you prowl around through the site, most of the good stuff is clustered in the first half of 2008.

Despite Luka’s constant assurances that this is all in good fun, she can be mean and deadly earnest.  For example, Luka takes a great satiric concept, a “condensed” sex blog, but presents it in an unsubtle and unfunny way: Condensed Blog 2.  (Luka’s commenters, though, loved this post.) Other times, she appears to take other sex blogs as seriously as the bloggers she is mocking: Go For It or Rather Don’t.  Despite the overtones of reproach and sanctimony, Thrill of Discovery is definitely worth reading and touches directly on the whole Girlfriend’s Diary thesis.

Although Barbed Wire Boudoir claims it is not a sex blog, we’ll stick with the formula:

Blog type: Satiric anti-sex-blog-not-a-sex-blog sex blog

Erotic quality:  Luka goes out of her way to de-glamorize sex, largely to paint a contrast to the sexual hyperbole found on most sex blogs.  It is effective, but not challenging.

Honesty:  Now this is a good question.  Why is Luka here?  She says it is because she can’t help but ridicule pretension, pomposity, elitism and stupidity.  Ok, fine, but there are many arenas where those traits exist.  Why pick sex blogs?  And if they are generally so worthless, why read so many?   Four thoughts, none of which is particularly insightful: 1) she is an insider using the old ethnic joke rationale-it’s ok to slam your own group; 2) she was once an insider, got caught up in the drama and decided to dedicate a site to a personal agenda ridiculing her former friends; 3) she was once an insider and needed a cathartic release after taking it too seriously; or 4) she is actually a big fan of sex blogs and just wants to keep them honest. 

Oh, and what’s up with that stat counter?

Presentation: A near-perfect parody of some of the busier sex blogs, including bogus award banners, HNTs and a lengthy blog roll.

Comments:  Ironically, as this site has evolved, Luka’s coterie of commenters seem to have become as happily pleased as those she derides on others’ sites.  I had to go back a month to find a comment that disagreed with anything she said. To be fair, there is plenty of controversy earlier on.

Fetish Factor:  Luka’s kink is extolling the value of plain old sex, complete with fat hairy asses, socks and occasional flatulence.

Overall:  I enjoyed this site quite a bit.  Luka throws some concepts on the table that merit review and consideration.  She’s damn funny most of the time (though she abuses the word “twat” and overuses “[object/arm/vegetable] shoved into an arse and photographed” as the stereotype of bad sex blogging).  The thing is, it’s hard to credibly criticize elitism and hypocrisy while occasionally indulging in it yourself.  The far better parts of Barbed Wire Boudoir raise questions about the reasons for, and consequences of, sex blogging.

Ok Luka, bring it on…..




  1. Hello!

    What fun!

    I really can’t do my review justice in a small comments box, so will post on the Boudoir in a linky link extravaganza for which I am sure you will be grateful.

    But what *is* up with my stats counter?

  2. Luka, Thanks for stopping by.

    I encourage everyone to drop by Luka’s site to see her riposte.

  3. No, but seriously, what *is* up with my stats counter?

  4. An excellent review… but then the blog you were reviewing provides excellent material!

    Congratulations to both of you!


    Another Statistic

  5. Well, it seems that you *get* it. This review has me much more impressed with your site 😉

  6. Well, as someone who’s known Luka longer than any of her “coterie” (about four years now), I’d say you got a lot of things about right …

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